i dunno if it's s.a.d. kicking in (it was totally dark before 6:30 today, after all) or if i'm now over-medicating or what, but i just can't make myself want to do ANYTHING the last couple days.
on the plus side, i've got a walking group going and i intend to do week one of the C25K program next week. i also might join a gym sometime soon....if i can get together some cash for it. we shall see.
i'm planning to buy some yarn that's on sale tomorrow and then i'm not buying anything for myself til after Christmas! well, nothing other than food or, like, toothpaste or, you know, things i *need*. but not craft stuff or clothes or anything like that. good thing i'm not into Christmas crafts. :)
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
fighting with myself
on the one hand, i *really* want to lose this weight. on the other hand, i struggle with temptation hardcore and i don't have a lot of real world help. i mean, i have people who'll cheer me on and who don't push me to make bad decisions, but sometimes i think i need more than that.
so here's what i think i need/need to do. i'm not sure how to make all these happen, so if anybody has any suggestions or advice, i'd love to hear them. :)
#1) start working out regularly. i'm trying to convince myself to get up in the mornings and go walk at the mall. i want to try to C25K program too - once i get myself used to moving (rather than just standing) regularly - but i have to figure out a place to do it. my lungs can't handle the cold air and i really don't want to wait til spring to do it.
#2) develop a regular sleep schedule. i've been trying to do this for awhile. i epic fail. no matter how tired i am at, say, 8 pm, when it's 10 or 11 or midnight and i'd actually like to go to bed, i can't sleep. so i need to figure out a way to get myself to actually go to sleep at like 10 or 11 so i can wake up at 6 or 7 and get stuff done before it's time to go to work or whatever else outside of the house i might need to do.
#3) develop a food plan and stick to it. i really struggle with figuring out balanced meals. i need to come up with a few "stand-by" meals that i can just stick to. this is why i lost a bunch of weight before meeting my husband, and have basically just gained since. i can eat basically the same thing every day. it doesn't bother me, in fact, i find it somewhat comforting. him, not so much. and if i tell him he has to feed himself, he just goes and gets mcdonalds. so i need to come up with my own super simple stand-bys for breakfast and lunch (which i usually eat by myself anyway) and then it won't matter so much what we end up eating together for dinner as long as i watch my portion sizes.
now i shall go shower and see if it helps me fall asleep before 2 a.m. :)
so here's what i think i need/need to do. i'm not sure how to make all these happen, so if anybody has any suggestions or advice, i'd love to hear them. :)
#1) start working out regularly. i'm trying to convince myself to get up in the mornings and go walk at the mall. i want to try to C25K program too - once i get myself used to moving (rather than just standing) regularly - but i have to figure out a place to do it. my lungs can't handle the cold air and i really don't want to wait til spring to do it.
#2) develop a regular sleep schedule. i've been trying to do this for awhile. i epic fail. no matter how tired i am at, say, 8 pm, when it's 10 or 11 or midnight and i'd actually like to go to bed, i can't sleep. so i need to figure out a way to get myself to actually go to sleep at like 10 or 11 so i can wake up at 6 or 7 and get stuff done before it's time to go to work or whatever else outside of the house i might need to do.
#3) develop a food plan and stick to it. i really struggle with figuring out balanced meals. i need to come up with a few "stand-by" meals that i can just stick to. this is why i lost a bunch of weight before meeting my husband, and have basically just gained since. i can eat basically the same thing every day. it doesn't bother me, in fact, i find it somewhat comforting. him, not so much. and if i tell him he has to feed himself, he just goes and gets mcdonalds. so i need to come up with my own super simple stand-bys for breakfast and lunch (which i usually eat by myself anyway) and then it won't matter so much what we end up eating together for dinner as long as i watch my portion sizes.
now i shall go shower and see if it helps me fall asleep before 2 a.m. :)
Thursday, September 2, 2010
obese and pregnant
no, i'm not pregnant. as far as i know, anyway. :)
i'm watching this TLC show called "obese and pregnant". it's pissing me off and i felt the need to vent about it a little.
i'm not arguing that there aren't increased risks of complications for an overweight woman who gets pregnant, but this show makes it sound like these women are idiots for getting pregnant when they're overweight and everything that could go wrong is going to. maybe it just makes me angry cuz of my own experiences with drs.
"let's check your blood pressure....*insert surprised look here*....o, it's normal...."
"let's check you for diabetes/IR....*insert surprised look here*....o, it's normal...."
"let's check your cholesterol....*insert surprised look here*....o wow, it's excellent...."
the only "weight caused" health problems i have arthritis/joint pain (which i'm guessing is really just worse because of my weight rather than caused by it) and PCOS (which the cause and effect relationship can go either way, depending on who you listen to).
and these women can barely move! omg! i might weigh over 300 lbs, but i still go to work and stand the whole time. i can still walk a couple miles (slower than a thin person, but much faster than a lot of other larger people). i can still bike several miles. i can get up off the floor on my own, i can do a sit up, i can do push-ups, i can climb a few flights of stairs. my point is that these women were in bad health before they got pregnant, and maybe it wasn't smart of them to get pregnant without working to improve their health, but there's a big difference between a woman who isn't making an effort to be healthy through diet and exercise getting pregnant and a woman who is making an effort to be healthy through diet and exercise getting pregnant no matter what their weight is. a thin woman can still be unhealthy and have it negatively impact their pregnancy. an overweight woman who takes good care of herself can still have a healthy, uneventful pregnancy. and the fact that the medical establishment seems to think that weight is a good indicator of health always pisses me off. it's not. there's plenty of info supporting that, but apparently dr's skulls are even thicker than my fat layer.
i'm watching this TLC show called "obese and pregnant". it's pissing me off and i felt the need to vent about it a little.
i'm not arguing that there aren't increased risks of complications for an overweight woman who gets pregnant, but this show makes it sound like these women are idiots for getting pregnant when they're overweight and everything that could go wrong is going to. maybe it just makes me angry cuz of my own experiences with drs.
"let's check your blood pressure....*insert surprised look here*....o, it's normal...."
"let's check you for diabetes/IR....*insert surprised look here*....o, it's normal...."
"let's check your cholesterol....*insert surprised look here*....o wow, it's excellent...."
the only "weight caused" health problems i have arthritis/joint pain (which i'm guessing is really just worse because of my weight rather than caused by it) and PCOS (which the cause and effect relationship can go either way, depending on who you listen to).
and these women can barely move! omg! i might weigh over 300 lbs, but i still go to work and stand the whole time. i can still walk a couple miles (slower than a thin person, but much faster than a lot of other larger people). i can still bike several miles. i can get up off the floor on my own, i can do a sit up, i can do push-ups, i can climb a few flights of stairs. my point is that these women were in bad health before they got pregnant, and maybe it wasn't smart of them to get pregnant without working to improve their health, but there's a big difference between a woman who isn't making an effort to be healthy through diet and exercise getting pregnant and a woman who is making an effort to be healthy through diet and exercise getting pregnant no matter what their weight is. a thin woman can still be unhealthy and have it negatively impact their pregnancy. an overweight woman who takes good care of herself can still have a healthy, uneventful pregnancy. and the fact that the medical establishment seems to think that weight is a good indicator of health always pisses me off. it's not. there's plenty of info supporting that, but apparently dr's skulls are even thicker than my fat layer.
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