why am i so tired??

life has been going pretty well lately. i still like my new job - sometimes, i have a shift that makes me want to pull my hair out, but overall, i really enjoy it. my old job has been really cooperative as far as scheduling goes. i'm scheduled one day per week there, and i've gotten a few calls when they need a shift covered. so that's working out really well, too, which is good since i like the people i work with there and the little extra money i make by staying there has allowed me to start building up some savings.

i've also started regularly attending bellydance fitness classes. i've been going to one or two classes per week. it's awesome! i don't know how else to describe it. i just love it. :) some friends of mine are getting me into pole dance classes too. i paid for five classes at a big discount, but i don't know if i'll keep going after those five classes. it's a lot of fun, and a serious work-out, but there's a lot of stuff that i can't do there because of my weight. so i dunno. i might keep going, or i might give it up til i've lost a bit more weight. i guess i'll decide for sure when i'm at my fourth or fifth class, so i can see how much progress i'm making. i've only been to one class so far and my second will be today.

so, what i don't understand, is why am i so tired? i don't mean physically tired - that would fully make sense, since i'm working between 40 and 45 hours a week when, for a long time, i was working less than 20 most of the time and almost never over 30. i'm mentally tired. my brain doesn't want to function, i have no motivation to do anything around the house or to exercise outside of the classes i've been taking. i'm struggling with tracking my calories. i'm all whiney and cryey and i don't even want to get dressed most of the time. it's pretty standard for me to feel like this in december or january....but it's april, the sun is out, plants are coming back to life....why do i feel like this? i just don't get it.

sharing a series...grocery shopping 101

i stumbled across a series of blogs that i found highly educational, so i figured i'd share them....

Part 1: Asses Your Kitchen

Part 2: Meal Planning

Part 3: Unit Price

Part 4: Re-think Quantity

Part 5: Save More

do you have any tips or tricks when it comes to meal planning, grocery shopping, or getting the most bang for your buck when it comes to food?

heavy

have you seen the new show "heavy" on A&E? i love and hate this show at the same time.

i like that they try to get into the struggles that people face. how they got to the weight the're at, why they need to lose weight (the health issues they actually face rather than just what they *might* face one day if they don't do something), etc. i like that they try to deal with the emotional problems. they show these people losing a lot of weight in a fairly short period of time, but they're being supervised by people who know what they're doing the whole time. they aren't competing against anyone. that's what i like about it.

what i don't like is that these people piss me off! tonight's episode had a woman who was the same age as me. her start weight is just over 30 lbs less than my start weight and she's all "i can't play with my kids" and it shows her getting out of breath just walking across the yard and climbing up on a trampoline. wtf? that isn't cuz you're fat, girl, that's cuz you're out of shape. it's cuz you spend too much time on the couch and not enough moving. i'm slower than someone my age who's normal weight, but i can do just about anything they can do. most stuff that i can't do (or am uncomfortable doing) are because of weight limits (a lot of fun "toys" have weight limits between 175 and 250 lbs) rather than because i actually can't physically handle it.

i don't have high blood pressure (it borders on high when i'm stressed out), i've been tested for IR and other blood sugar issues repeatedly and the tests never show any signs of a problem, i can climb a flight of stairs, i can walk a mile, i can jog/run in short bursts (but it hurts my ankles!), and if you put a camera in my face while i was working out, you can bet the LAST thing i would do would be cry or whine about it being too hard! i would probably keep going til i dropped or literally COULD NOT do another rep cuz i wouldn't wanna look like a ***** on national TV!

so i guess....i like the show. i (so far, anyway) HATE the people on it. what do you think?