why am i so tired??

life has been going pretty well lately. i still like my new job - sometimes, i have a shift that makes me want to pull my hair out, but overall, i really enjoy it. my old job has been really cooperative as far as scheduling goes. i'm scheduled one day per week there, and i've gotten a few calls when they need a shift covered. so that's working out really well, too, which is good since i like the people i work with there and the little extra money i make by staying there has allowed me to start building up some savings.

i've also started regularly attending bellydance fitness classes. i've been going to one or two classes per week. it's awesome! i don't know how else to describe it. i just love it. :) some friends of mine are getting me into pole dance classes too. i paid for five classes at a big discount, but i don't know if i'll keep going after those five classes. it's a lot of fun, and a serious work-out, but there's a lot of stuff that i can't do there because of my weight. so i dunno. i might keep going, or i might give it up til i've lost a bit more weight. i guess i'll decide for sure when i'm at my fourth or fifth class, so i can see how much progress i'm making. i've only been to one class so far and my second will be today.

so, what i don't understand, is why am i so tired? i don't mean physically tired - that would fully make sense, since i'm working between 40 and 45 hours a week when, for a long time, i was working less than 20 most of the time and almost never over 30. i'm mentally tired. my brain doesn't want to function, i have no motivation to do anything around the house or to exercise outside of the classes i've been taking. i'm struggling with tracking my calories. i'm all whiney and cryey and i don't even want to get dressed most of the time. it's pretty standard for me to feel like this in december or january....but it's april, the sun is out, plants are coming back to life....why do i feel like this? i just don't get it.

here goes nothing....

so today (or yesterday, depending on how you define your days), i went to my first belly dance "technique" class. i might even get to perform next month! i'm really excited to really get involved in belly dance. i took a few classes in the past but i wasn't able to consistently go to anything other than a fitness class. which was fun and (i think, anyway) a good intro into belly dance, but i want to really be able to say that i am a belly dancer. :)

another thing that i want to be able to say is that i'm a runner, and in the morning, i'm going to take the first step towards that goal. a friend and i are starting the C25K program tomorrow. nine weeks from now(or a few more if we decide to repeat a week or two), i will be able to jog 3 miles! unless i hurt myself. but i think i can do this without hurting myself. i found my ankle brace, just in case. :) now i just have to find an inhaler to take with me in the morning....