here goes nothing....

so today (or yesterday, depending on how you define your days), i went to my first belly dance "technique" class. i might even get to perform next month! i'm really excited to really get involved in belly dance. i took a few classes in the past but i wasn't able to consistently go to anything other than a fitness class. which was fun and (i think, anyway) a good intro into belly dance, but i want to really be able to say that i am a belly dancer. :)

another thing that i want to be able to say is that i'm a runner, and in the morning, i'm going to take the first step towards that goal. a friend and i are starting the C25K program tomorrow. nine weeks from now(or a few more if we decide to repeat a week or two), i will be able to jog 3 miles! unless i hurt myself. but i think i can do this without hurting myself. i found my ankle brace, just in case. :) now i just have to find an inhaler to take with me in the morning....

i'm blue (aba di aba die...)

i dunno if it's s.a.d. kicking in (it was totally dark before 6:30 today, after all) or if i'm now over-medicating or what, but i just can't make myself want to do ANYTHING the last couple days.

on the plus side, i've got a walking group going and i intend to do week one of the C25K program next week. i also might join a gym sometime soon....if i can get together some cash for it. we shall see.

i'm planning to buy some yarn that's on sale tomorrow and then i'm not buying anything for myself til after Christmas! well, nothing other than food or, like, toothpaste or, you know, things i *need*. but not craft stuff or clothes or anything like that. good thing i'm not into Christmas crafts. :)

fighting with myself

on the one hand, i *really* want to lose this weight. on the other hand, i struggle with temptation hardcore and i don't have a lot of real world help. i mean, i have people who'll cheer me on and who don't push me to make bad decisions, but sometimes i think i need more than that.

so here's what i think i need/need to do. i'm not sure how to make all these happen, so if anybody has any suggestions or advice, i'd love to hear them. :)

#1) start working out regularly. i'm trying to convince myself to get up in the mornings and go walk at the mall. i want to try to C25K program too - once i get myself used to moving (rather than just standing) regularly - but i have to figure out a place to do it. my lungs can't handle the cold air and i really don't want to wait til spring to do it.

#2) develop a regular sleep schedule. i've been trying to do this for awhile. i epic fail. no matter how tired i am at, say, 8 pm, when it's 10 or 11 or midnight and i'd actually like to go to bed, i can't sleep. so i need to figure out a way to get myself to actually go to sleep at like 10 or 11 so i can wake up at 6 or 7 and get stuff done before it's time to go to work or whatever else outside of the house i might need to do.

#3) develop a food plan and stick to it. i really struggle with figuring out balanced meals. i need to come up with a few "stand-by" meals that i can just stick to. this is why i lost a bunch of weight before meeting my husband, and have basically just gained since. i can eat basically the same thing every day. it doesn't bother me, in fact, i find it somewhat comforting. him, not so much. and if i tell him he has to feed himself, he just goes and gets mcdonalds. so i need to come up with my own super simple stand-bys for breakfast and lunch (which i usually eat by myself anyway) and then it won't matter so much what we end up eating together for dinner as long as i watch my portion sizes.

now i shall go shower and see if it helps me fall asleep before 2 a.m. :)